09/Jul/2012 09:30 am
I don't think marriage ruins a good reiisaonthlp. It seems marriage is just the fall back excuse for reiisaonthlps going bad. If you think about it, any reiisaonthlp changes over time, not just when married.I heard comments regarding married couples letting themself go and no more romance . Well, I think in most cases letting oneself go is just what happens when you live life. Children are born, women naturally put on weight, it is a big struggle generally to get the weight off, especially when you are eating on the go all the time chasing after kids. Women are supposed to put on weight in their childbearing years, it is a biological fact. Also, breastfeeding children is best for them, however it is hell on the breasts. And lets face it, gravity works people. Those puppies aren't going to stay perky forever, regardless of kids.And naturally men will start to gain some weight as well when family time replaces guy's night playing basketball or golf. Also, romance is easy when it is just the two of you. But it is work to keep the romance when completely sleep deprived because of the new baby, or when there is no time for a date because of soccer practice and tutoring and boy scouts. People also change throughout their lives, it is inevitable. You learn and you grow, it is the process of living. Some couples grow together, some grow apart, and it has nothing to do with marriage. But, I think marriage gives a reason to work harder to stick together instead of just walking away. It is much more difficult to get divorced than to break up. If it wasn't difficult, people would just be breaking up and moving on whenever things got hairy in a reiisaonthlp, instead of really putting an effort into working it out. They always seem to see that greener grass on the other side. What people fail to realize is that you still need to tend that lawn, water and mow it, or it will die too (forgive the metaphor). I am on my second marriage. My first one didn't last obviously, I was very young and that wasn't my brightest moment. However, I have now been married for 7 years. My husband and I are best friends and still love eachother very much. But it isn't always easy, sometimes it takes work. We've faced very difficult times, and have had to overcome them. But that is what marriage is, loving eachother, in good times AND bad. Helping eachother through it, having someone to be your partner so you aren't alone in life. Noone can do it all alone.So, to make a long comment even longer, I think marriage is only a mistake when it is entered into lightly without really considering if the love you feel is maybe just infatuation because everything is perfect , or if it something that is truly worth working at in the future when things might not always be so perfect. A good friend once told me that she was on a date at a function with many white collar upper class people. She was standing with her date and a group of guys, all chatting it up. Her date asked one of the guys Hey, where is your wife? I know you can't go anywhere without her. And the guy looked at her date, and said, See, that is where you are wrong. I just won't go anywhere that I can't take her. Just something to think about.